Tickets this way to the Chatsworth Express

Tickets this way to the Chatsworth Express

Come and watch pikeys making a mess

of the lives they were given by Him upstairs,

and kids, they're convinced, aren't actually theirs.

What sounds on earth could EVER replace

kids needing money? Or wives in yer face,

'cause this, people reckon, including me,

is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented

to calm us all down and stop us going mental.

These are Chatsworth estate's BASIC essentials;

We're worth every penny, for grinding your axes...

You shit on our heads, but, you pay the taxes!

Imagine Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers,

who'll cum on your face for the price of a beer.

Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now

Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!

There's only one thing the Pervy Girls love more than looking at a pair of boobs and that is watching Shameless on a Tuesday night. It encompasses everything we aspire to, okay maybe not but it's got some serious eye candy going on, which makes us wish we were three kids up, on a Manchester council estate. So to fulfill this dream (for a weekend anyway) I, along with my pervert replacement for the weekend (the real one stayed south to keep things sleazy), booked up our coaches and went on our merry little way. We experienced the sweet taste of what Manchester nightlife had to offer and managed to make the pilgrimage to our beloved Chatsworth Estate. That's right boys and babes we followed in the footsteps of the all the greats: Frank, Lip, Kev n Veronica to name a few. The plan, aka dream come true, was to stop off at the Jockey to wet our lips with the 'two pills and a pint' usual. Alas we discovered it all boarded up and derelict, which to be honest totally added to the council estate squalor that we completely dig. We then made a quick dash to the Gallaghers house, stopping off to buy a pint of milk from Joe's Shop. It was mazin thats all I'm sayin. The rest of Manchester was totally hot too, everyone is real nice and we got some pictures of all these beautiful (okay not so much) people for you to look at. We met chavs, straight boys making out, an old lady who peed herself, two germans, two americans and a slashed face hoodlum amongst others. It was amaze, y'all should go.


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