As a complete technophobe and preferring to hang out playing kiss chase, I never got down with the phenomenon that was 'MSN'/chat rooms. I could never get my head around hanging with my babes in the classroom, then going home to exchange LOL's and smileys with them all night. Call me old fashioned but I was way more partial to an old-school, marathon, phone conversation (whispered confessions about our latest boy crushes, obvs so the parental units wouldn't hear). Anyway what I'm trying to say is I never got down with the whole virtual chat sensation, and I have kinda always looked down my nose at people who were hooked on that shit, spending their evenings hanging out with their cyber-friends, while their eyes turned square and their skin transparent (from lack of natural light, right). This is all until Chat Roulette. The two most beautiful words in the virtual world. And it's like now I totally get it, all those years of living in complete ignorance and all the while I have been missing out on stuff like this. Okay so I still stick to my original point that it isn't the same if it's your real-life friends you're talking to (right now, I'm going to completely ignore the facebook-chat seshes my housemates and I have been known to divulge in on the odd occasion, I'm talking sitting in the same room, on the same sofa, whatevs) or virtual perverts trying to groom 12 year old homegirls, anyway this isn't what Chat Roulette is about, you are randomly paired with a complete stranger from around the world to engage in conversation that will no doubt change your life. By this I mean the disorder that is currently affecting Chat Roulette addicts the world over, y'know the one that makes you fall completely in love a total random and then when you mistakenly 'next' them you are left pining for hours (oh Tim from NY and the Surrey boys if you are reading this we still haven't forgotten you). Okay so you get some total freaks but c'mon they're pretty adorable in their own way right? I mean who doesn't wanna see someone fucking themselves with a giant dildo/fish/wine bottle, up their butt? Cause we totally dig that. Everyone is jumping on the bandwagon, so get in there quick you bunch of babes before Chat Roulette becomes so cool it's not cool. We'll see you there for some cyberluv.

peace &love

Romance is dead

Ah Valentines day. That one day a year where you show that special someone that you love them: chocolate (stale, bought from the petrol station), wine (purchased with chocolates,  finest {cheapest} chardonnay), heart shaped helium balloons (that will soon deflate and lie helplessly dead on your bedroom floor, what a lovely gesture to sum up your relationship), huge tacky cards (an essay of words written by a total stranger). Yes what a lovely day. Puke. We say you don't need an excuse to fuck or say those three words. So bite us cupid. 


Nothing Funner

(photo by Jamie Walker)

 Darren Berry is one half of the genius behind Lifestyles of the Poor and Unknown (, as well as creative conglomerate Southend's Young Creatives, which is aimed at promoting young creative talent (designers, artist, photographers etc) and introducing them to contacts, allowing them to collab or get work placements. And he's also a complete Einstein when it comes to making buff visuals (check his work here So yeah he's pretty much a hero right? Anywayzies here's what he had to say when we asked him a few questions.

What do you do?
Im a Graphic designer of sorts, I dabble in club promotion, run a network called Southends Young Creatives, and paint graffiti when your not looking...

If you weren’t doing this what else would you be doing?
Definitely a rapper...

Is beauty in the eye of the beholder?
You would have to ask my girlfriend that, she's stayed with me for eight years and I'm totally punching above my weight..

Who do you think gets 'it' wrong?
I dunno who I dislike at the moment, I guess everyones doing thier thing and if they've got a passion for it good on them... I'm sorry that's lame.

Who/what inspires you? 
Ed Roth - My dad builds Hot Rods, and I got brought up around Hot Rod art, Ed Roths illustrations inspired me to start drawing and they still have the same effect today..
Nicolas Malinowsky - His collages are rad. 
Stephen Powers - He's been doing the 'love letters' project in Philadelphia recently (you may have seen it in creative review) if you havent seen it, check it out.
Horphe - Pure graffiti madness, check him out.
Jack Siegel- Ran the skullset blog, I like his photos.
Apart from that my friends are a constant source of insperation..

Does sex sell?
I guess it depends what your sellling, but being a man, yeah probably....

Dream fuck-buddy?

Favorite song to make-out to?
Anything by simply red.

Hottest blog?
Of course yours girls!! Totally mine! And my girlfriend's if she ever updated it...

Celebrity Spanking: Hot or not?
It's the new black.

Would you ever make a sex tape?
I made one, it was a flop...

Anything else?
Yeah, if you jumped on a bullet train would you stay in the same spot? That question has plagued me for years.


Another blah update

So whilst my fellow perv is making me very proud bustin' her butt studying her heart out, I have (hopefully) rectified the whole loser drop out saga and am currently enjoying the interning life. Not the early mornings and the not getting paid part however. The shoe 'n' party fund is dramatically decreasing at an exceptionally fast pace and I spend more time out of my bed than in it (This is normal to most but me and my girl find laziness comes to us with ease. This doesn't bother us infact we quite enjoy it.) But yeah, despite the above, i am quite becoming accustomed to the working life. For now. No job can ever beat the student life, which I intend to fully lap up come september. So I'm back in London now with lover boy, no longer living in a prison cell but a cute room in Harrow shared with 3 polish and a Rasta who rather generously likes to give us weed. I'd say this year has started on quite a high. Literally. 


It's all science

Really, who could not enjoy a totally free day out?  
But when that same day consists of an abundance of  blow your mind cool, then that really is a sick day! Oh yes guys and dolls I went to the science museum where education is made fun. Okay I totally copied that off of a poster I saw on the way in. But it's true! I apologise for the shit photos attached, too much time spent gawping at  rockets and retro cars before I remembered to take any photos. There is and I don't want to sound cliche or like an advert for Centre Parks but actually something for everyone there. So yeah, don't be a pussy go get educated in a new found fun and totally free way!


Chris Cunningham

Chris Cunningham makes dicks and butts into facial disfigurements. Contorted bodies look like they are burning in hell, hot (like sexy, not fire). Flesh eating skin diseases consume sexual organs (eww, say that having phone sex and see where it gets you). He is the anti-christ, the apostate of hell, suckling on the teat of the whore of babylon as she rides atop a seven-headed beast, bestriding the uncreation of the universe. He makes fucked up shorts/music vids/adverts and for that we totally love him. Check it bitches.


The Aftermath

We partied hard and fast. Too hard and fast. So while my pervy other half carried on the partyin' I flaked. Which left me and my other, other half to begin the trek (aka get a cab) to the nearest free bed we could find. After what seemed like hours of fidgeting and an endless desire to sleep and pee, either/or, morning (evening) came with the delight of yet another comedown. However, thanks to the pub next door we at least got to eat pretty much everything in their kitchen. And so faith in life was restored, which allowed me to get the 411 from my favourite perve, who I'd left to party in our name the night/morning before.


We hauled ass to the deep south, to party Peckham style for our babe Annie's birthday. She's a fucking princess alright.